What She Saw as Junk, I Saw as Gold

When we’re talking to someone, it’s easy to assume that we understand everything they’re saying or that we already have the answers. But often, we don’t fully understand their point of view. Often, the person we’re talking to might be adamant about something, and we might not fully grasp their perspective. When we don’t pause to clarify what the other person truly means, we end up making assumptions that can cause more problems in the conversation.

That’s why it’s so important to ask questions and listen carefully. Good communication isn’t just about sharing what we think, but also making sure we understand the other person’s viewpoint.

One thing you can do to avoid confusion is to repeat back what the other person has said, in your own words, to make sure you understood it correctly. For example, you could say, “So you feel this way because… is that right?” This helps clear things up and shows you’re listening. Lately been loving what Chris Voss says, in his book Never Split the Difference. Chris Voss suggests saying, “It seems like…” to encourage the other person to share more. These simple steps can help make conversations clearer and more productive.

One day after work, I was tossing some trash from my car when something caught my eye. Sitting in the bin was a small grill, the one my brother and I used for so many good times. Without a second thought, I pulled it out and put it into my car.

Earlier that day, my sister had thrown it away, saying it was just some old, useless thing taking up space. But my sister did not ask anything about the grill and that caused a problem we could have avoided. That grill was more than a piece of cooking equipment—it was a reminder of long conversations, laughter, and dreams my brother and I shared while working on our business plan.

To her, it was trash, something that had no purpose anymore. But to me, it held memories of one of the best times in my life.